The Wit and Wisdom of Melchior Inchofer

Behold!

Philosophical works among [the Solipsists] are more or less of this sort: “Does the scarab roll dung into a ball paradigmatically?” “If a mouse urinates in the sea, is there a risk of shipwreck?” “Are mathematical points receptacles for spirits?” “Is a belch an exhalation of the soul?” “Does the barking of a dog make the moon spotted?” and many other arguments of this kind, which are stated and discussed with equal contentiousness. Their Theological works are: “Whether navigation can be established in imaginary space.” “Whether the intelligence known as Burach has the power to digest iron.” “Whether the souls of the Gods have color.” “Whether the excretions of Demons are protective to humans in the eighth degree.” “Whether drums covered with the hide of an ass delight the intellect.”

Courtesy of this article by Ingrid D. Rowland in the impressive U of Chicago Fathom archive. The quotation comes from Inchofer’s The Monarchy of the Solipsists (1645).